Ten Steps to Consider When Deciding If You Want to Get a Divorce.........Or Not

    Should you stay and work on your marriage? Or is it time to consider your options?   
    
When we find that special someone we consider our partner in life, we never consider that something might happen that would make us think otherwise. You’re here for that very reason. You are thinking about whether you want to stay in your marriage, whether it’s salvageable at all or whether it’s time cut your losses and say goodbye. No one can give you an answer. You have to come to that decision on your own. But while you’re examining your options, here are a few things you should consider.  

1. CONSIDER THE REALITIES.
Think about your life now versus your life if you get divorced. Really consider the realities of divorce – on your emotions, finances, living arrangements, work, children, family, friendships, religious affiliations and your world. And if you are a spouse who makes the majority of the money -- regardless of gender, make certain you understand the law well enough so that you know what your financial commitments to your former spouse or your children may be if you decide to pursue a divorce. Write down the ways in which your life will change for the positive and for the negative.

2. GET MARRIAGE COUNSELING.
Is the problem in your relationship one of communication, trust or based on some other emotion that you can still work through? Would a marriage therapist help? There are therapists who specialize in helping couples during troubled time. If it's still possible, you should consider talking with a professional and asking your spouse if they would do the same. If you cannot afford a professional therapist, some cities or muncipalities offer low-cost options. And many religious organizations offer counseling or support as well.   ....

3. GET FINANCIAL COUNSELING.
Some marriages fail because of financial stress caused because two people have two different financial personalities. One is a saver and one is a spender. Or worse, both are spenders and neither knows how to keep the other on a financially firm foundation. If this is the case in your life, you should consider getting some financial help you get out of debt and learn how to keep your spending habits under control. If this is your problem, financial counseling may even help you save you. TALK TO YOUR SPOUSE. 
Tell them what you’re thinking and why and see if you can seek out marriage counseling to resolve the issues that both of you may have. If abuse is not involved, it’s better to save your marriage if possible, particularly if there are children involved. If you decide to leave your partner, communication will remain a key to resolving your issues along the way in a civil manner. So try to keep the lines of communication open.   

5. GET A BANK ACCOUNT.
While considering the answers to the questions above, finances will also be a top concern. To secure your financial future, no matter what you decide, you should go to the bank and open a bank account in your own name.  

6. SAFEGUARD YOUR CREDIT.
Another financial concern will involve your credit and your credit rating, which you must safeguard, regardless of what happens. You should always have at least one card in your name only. Call your credit card companies and make certain that you can do this.

7. START SAVING MONEY.
Why? If you decide to divorce, you may have to consider relocation to another home, city, town or province. If you don’t have a job, you may want to consider getting one. Beyond the emotional toll, divorce takes a financial one as well – particularly for women, who often not make as much money as men. If you move forward with a divorce, you will need an attorney. You may want to hire a Divorce Financial Planner. No matter what happens, having a little money saved cannot hurt. 

 8. GATHER YOUR IMPORTANT PAPERWORK.
Know whose names are on them, how much they entail and what your debts and assets are. This will be important as you move forward. Among the paperwork you should have copies of: life insurance policies, home insurance, safe deposit boxes and other investments, house deeds, car deeds, etc. 

9. CONSIDER A POST-NUPTIAL AGREEMENT.
This kind of agreement can be entered into before a divorce. It can be used to amend a prenuptial agreement if you have one, because you’ve gotten into a business venture since your marriage or your financial circumstances have significantly improved. It also can be used to create emotional and financial security in reconciliation as you try to give your marriage another try.   

10.  GET HELP.
If you are in an abusive situation seek help from a local resource who can advise you on shelters, counseling and other help for you and your children.